Anthropomorphic...say what?

This was originally going to be a happy post about the nonsense of the past week. Then, Cabo Bob's happened...for like the 12th time this week. Well, it wasn't exactly Cabo Bob's fault. Best. Burrito. Ever.

Sitting next to me was a country music magazine (which will remain nameless), which I stupidly opened. It contained an article entitled "Who Defines Humane Treatment of Farm Animals". I was intrigued...I mean, what light might this magazine littered with Beef Jerky and Meat Market ads (no, really, this is Texas y'all) have to shed on this subject? I should point out again, that I am not typically a soap-box vegan...in fact most of the people who know I'm vegan found out from someone else. However, I occasionally run across something so ridiculous that I cannot help but believe every carnivore and herbivore alike would find it nonsensical. Here me out people. My comments are in blue. Here is the article:

"The Texas Agrilife Extension Service
of Randall County will offer a three-part
a proposal in the U.S. House would take
production agriculture standards out of
the hands of professionals and turn them
over to bureaucrats. That’s what I find
worrisome about new animal welfare
legislation by two U.S. Representatives
from the Left Coast."

The use of the word "professionals" amuses me.

"Hr 4733, the Prevention of Farm
Cruelty Act, was introduced recently by
reps. Diane Watson and Elton Gallegly,
both from California. (The bill) If passed, the bill
would prohibit the government from
purchasing animal products that are not
“humanely” produced for school lunch and
other federal programs.
So who defines “humane?” that’s the
problem. My friend and coworker Ken
Hodges, who is an Associate Legislative
Director for the Texas Farm Bureau, says
the bill would mandate arbitrary humane
animal production standards. By arbitrary
he means standards developed without
input from veterinarians or animal
producers. As Ken so aptly says, when we start
having somebody who doesn’t understand
animals deciding what is or isn’t animal
cruelty, we have real problems.

Folks, we have real problems. "

Is he saying that only veterinarians and "animal producers" are capable of knowing whether or not an animal is being treated humanely, or even understanding animals for that matter? If so, anyone other than a veterinarian or "animal producer" should not even be allowed to have a pet or be around animals for that matter...I mean the rest of us are complete bumbling idiots when it comes to knowing that an animal probably needs to eat on a regular basis and does not like it when you pet their fur in the wrong direction. Thankfully, we have these animal specialists to tell us how to treat our furry companions. And, where would we be without this co-worker and dear friend's opinion? I'm sure as part of the Texas Farm Bureau he has nothing to lose if this bill gets passed, and only cares about welfare of the animals. Oh, wait, never mind.

And, just so we're clear the minimum requirement outlined in the bill, is that the animals specific to this bill (only egg laying chickens, veal calves and pregnant pigs) are able to stand up, lie down, turn around and fully extended all limbs. How unreasonable! And you meat factories get exceptions, like slaughtering so just slow your roll.

"The legislation — which resembles
doctrine espoused by the Humane Society
of the United States (HSUS) and other
animal rights groups — is based on the
presumption that farm animals are not
routinely treated humanely. A few years ago that line of thinking
would have been ridiculed. A decade
of relentless propaganda, however, has
changed public perceptions."

"Propaganda"? Seems the pot is calling the kettle black here. Considering this person neglects some very important details of the bill.

"A consumer
suspicious of the way you care for your
livestock is the new reality. "

How dare we ask where our food comes from! Who do we think we are?!

"The issue is not intentional cruelty,
although those rare cases are highly
publicized."

Of course that's not the issue. I mean I've heard calves don't even like to walk around, really.

"Under the microscope are
practices that the public has been told are
cruel, and now believe — practices such
as battery cages, gestation stalls and most
other confinement practices."

Stupid animals...that's like the animal version of The Four Seasons. Are we really expected to believe that things like "battery cages" are not inhumane? REALLY?

"As a defense, agriculture points to
painstaking animal welfare standards —
proper veterinary care, fresh water, clean
animal feed, etc. from birth to harvest —
which have been developed through years
of research by scientists and producers for
every species of livestock."

I'm glad we have our trusty scientists, you know the ones who test on animals. Oh most of them don't believe that animals have feelings, and call those of us who do anthropomorphics...what a bunch of ignorant perverts we are.

"Those standards
by and large have been developed to
maintain healthy animals. and we can
argue until the cows come home that
healthy livestock are happy livestock. "

Yes, as long as an animal is "healthy" why should he need sunlight, or fresh air let alone an area to move around in? Greedy little pigs. Maybe we should have this fine young man live in his bathtub...don't worry, we'll keep him healthy. He'll be all smiles, I promise.

"But reactive thinking isn’t cutting it
anymore. The industry needs to get out
of its defensive posture and get ahead of
this animal welfare issue. We are never
going to satisfy PETA and HSUS, and
shouldn’t even try. But we can throw a
barrier between them and the American
consumer.
Is an “ethical standard of care” for
livestock the answer? Should producers
and researchers define animal welfare, and
point to those standards when accused of
doing wrong? If so, how far do we go and
how do we implement it? And would it
help? "

This article could've been one man's opinion. Instead, it's all just twisted facts, being thrown out there by a man who is concerned that somebody will make him stop eating meat, or hurt his friends lucrative career as an "Associate Legislative Director for the Texas Farm Bureau". Or, maybe he got a giggle picturing Joe Redneck's fist pumping, "hell, yeah" response to the article while wearing this hat. I know I did.